Well, to connect using SSMS you specify the server name / the instance then a comma and port (if its not standard)
EG: “lon101dds ,5001”
If you dont know the port …
– remote onto server
– start / programs / sql 2005 / configuration tools / configuration manager /
– find the instance under network config
– look in tcp/ip settings
– within the ip addresses tab
– scroll to the bottom “IP All”
– read tcp port